"How To Get My Boyfriend Back?" - by Essy

By: Essy Redfield

Hey girl!

If you are wondering how to get my boyfriend back, then this article might help. It is part of my get your boyfriend back series, I post an article each week about a girl who is going through a rough patch. Denis has taken the time to write in about her relationship troubles.

Essy,

Thank you so much for the Guide you wrote! My boyfriend actually asked me to come and stay with him two nights ago and I went over there and we talked for a while (the first civil conversation we have had since he broke up with me 2 weeks ago) and he said he loves me and misses me and thinks about me every night and misses holding me when he goes to sleep.

But he just kept saying that he doesn't think things will be different if we got back together.. Our major issues are that he doesn't like me talking to other guys and doesn't like me going out to bars with just my girlfriends and not him.

I told him I was willing to continue to try to work on those things with him (we have broken up a couple other times because of those issues), but he says he knows he shouldn't feel the way he does about that stuff and he shouldn't have to ask me not to talk to my friends and he doesn't want me to lose friends because of him. He also thinks that 2 people in a relationship should agree on everything, which I told him was unrealistic and that he would never find that.

Whatever it takes, I just want to be with him and I told him that I understand where he is coming from, worrying about those things. He told me he still has to think about it, that he can't just say yes. I tried talking to him a little yesterday, but he didn't really say much. I wanted to go over to his place to bring him a letter I have written him, but he wasn't home last night so I texted him asking if he was studying at the library and he never answered.

I still want to give him that letter.. and also, I am supposed to start my period today and I haven't yet and the last time we had sex was the week he broke up with me and we had a little scare... I thought that that could be a good way of starting up another conversation with him. What should I do? I really need your help.

Thanks,
Denise

For other letters from girls, why don't you visit how to win a guy back.

Hi Denise, I have some views on this...

1. If he asks for you to go over again, don't. I know it's so so tempting, but you don't want to go running over to him as soon as he asks. That way you are giving him exactly what he wants. It means that he's holding all the cards in the relationship.

2. You shouldn't have to agree to not talk to other guys nor go out with your girlfriend. Does he have low self-esteem? Again, agreeing to this means that he's holding the cards in the relationship. You should not give up your chance to spend quality time with your girlfriends. He is being unfair on you.

3. A letter can be a good idea, but it depends what the letter says. Don't use it to spill your heart out. But do use it to accept the breakup and give each other space.

In short, you've got to become more unavailable to him. Make him realize what he's missing, and don't change just to satisfy his insecurities.

I hope that helps, stay strong!

For more this, you might want to read how to get your boyfriend back guide.